Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from a sky-scraper Q:he dies

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I'm not here.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

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Why does an elephant lay on it's back with its feet in the air? To trip birds.

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Why didn't the boy respond to the text? His phone had run out of charge.

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What do you call a dead cat on the side of the road? Kitty litter

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What's the best anti joke? this one

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waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

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Q:How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

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What do you call it when 1 person has an imaginary friend? A mental disorder. What do you call it when 1 billion people have an imaginary friend? A Religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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