Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough it was car. The End

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What did the man do after he found out his wife died in the Titanic? He cried.

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4/20.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Why didn't suzie go to school yesterday? She was brutally hacked into pieces and now she"ll never experience school again

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September 8, 2011 Amy Winehouse: 46 days sober. Date of death: July 23, 2011

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

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y momma so fat that she's heavy

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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ok i'm typing, so how does this work?

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whats cheese thats not yours? the one in the toilet.

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A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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Every time you make fun of an Ethiopian child he dies a little on the inside.. But that's probably just from the hunger..

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Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and realising it has a worm in it? subsequently realising that the worm is a Swamp Adder, the worlds smallest venemous snake. Then you look up and realise you're in the Sahara Desert. You wonder where the snake came from and how it got in the apple.. Then you slowly die.

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A: Don't hit those black people!!!!! B: Those are trash cans.

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whats the difference between a cat and a rooster? who the hell cares, all black people should die

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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What did the Black man say when he just got home from work? "Hi honey, I just got home from work."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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