What do you call a fish with no eyes? Anything you want, it's only a fish.

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A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "can I get you a drink?" The robot replies, "No, I'm a robot."

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What do you call a kid with headgear and one leg? Names.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop

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Poverty.

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If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

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What do the Japanese hate more than sitting in traffic? tsunamis.

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whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.....

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A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: slightly aged post it note glue

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "one beer please." the bartender proceeds to go into shock as a duck just talked to him

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a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? Literally an endless list of things.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... ...into an alleyway to have a quick smoke before entering the bar his friends went in.

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Whats the difference between boyscouts and jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Why did The chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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What's worse then ten dead babies being nailed to a tree? Being the one to take them down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops