What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a pair of shoes and gloves

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is black and white and red all over. A blackboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

What is it called when a male and a male are together. A relationship

thumb_up thumb_down +44

who has no willy? robbie kearns

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a kid with headgear and one leg? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you know a chinese person has been in your house? #1 your homework is done #2 your computer is upgraded #3 when you get home there still pulling out of your driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +13

69

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Stephen Hawkings was ice skating on the Eiffel Tower... then he woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mom is so stupid, she decided to go back to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Good for him. Thats wonderful!

thumb_up thumb_down -121

what's famous and sounds like a type of food? a famous artist's name slightly modified to include the name of a food

thumb_up thumb_down +216

If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the retarded man jump off a building to commit suicide? He didn't try to commit suicide. He was mentally retarted and didn't know any better.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A six foot chicken, a horse, and a muskrat walk into a bar. They are then detained by animal control and the bar undergoes a thorough cleaning.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the Jew get for Christmas? A ride to a Concentrtation Camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Knock knock It's open

thumb_up thumb_down +77

6

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: slightly aged post it note glue

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call two black guys on a bike? Unsafe operation of a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops