What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? Literally an endless list of things.

September 8, 2011 Amy Winehouse: 46 days sober. Date of death: July 23, 2011

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

Why was Jesus able to walk on water? Because he was the son of God and therefore devine, he can do whatever he pleases

Why did the retarded man jump off a building to commit suicide? He didn't try to commit suicide. He was mentally retarted and didn't know any better.

What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

4/20.

What's brown and sticky? Poop

Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

The Pope walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll ya have, Pope?" But the Pope's grasp of English is tenuous at best, so he mumbles something in Latin. The bartender doesn't know any Latin. The Pope gets frustrated and leaves.

A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from a sky-scraper Q:he dies

why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

A rabbit enters in apharmacy and asks for a carrot. The man says:"There aren´t any carrots in here." In the next two days the same happens, but the man replies that he'll hammer the rabbit if he comes back. In the other day, the rabbit is found dead with a bloody hammer nearby.

Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

What did the Black man say when he just got home from work? "Hi honey, I just got home from work."

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough it was car. The End

Q: What did one blind girl ask the other? A: Where are you?

whats cheese thats not yours? the one in the toilet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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