Roses are red, I want a gravestone, nobody loves me, forever alone

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

there was a blond, a brunette, and a redhead at the edge of a cliff The blond being stupid jumped off the cliff and broke every bone in her body

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Your moms so dumb she stuffed a battery up her butt and said i got the POWA!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Why was the swing in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats stupid and has words? THIS JOKE!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

thumb_up thumb_down -48

A gay dyslexic black man walks in to a bar the bar tender say "what'll it be" and then he orders his drink and pays his bill and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A rabbit enters in apharmacy and asks for a carrot. The man says:"There aren´t any carrots in here." In the next two days the same happens, but the man replies that he'll hammer the rabbit if he comes back. In the other day, the rabbit is found dead with a bloody hammer nearby.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock Whos there? ... You got ding dong ditched

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the all the fish in the lake die? A pesticide bioaccumulated through the food chain.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

6

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's the difference between a black guy and a Cadillac? One is a car and the other is a man. And it is insensitive to speak about race so blatantly, sir.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

ok i'm typing, so how does this work?

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough it was car. The End

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +29

September 8, 2011 Amy Winehouse: 46 days sober. Date of death: July 23, 2011

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the boy Tell to his friends? Nothing. He has noone.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops