A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

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only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

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There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

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A blond and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Neither. They hit the ground at the exact same time due to the laws of physics

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What did the cabbage say to the cabbage? I dont know ask the leafy guy.... >_

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What did Lebron James say to Brad Pitt? "What's up, Brad?"

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Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

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whats worse than your little sster being raped? her being raped by your father.

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a atheist and a christian walk into a bar, they are good friends and enjoy their conversations.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

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Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting in a tree, watching a farmer. The squirrel turns to the bird and says nothing because squirrels can't talk, and the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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What is worse than the Holocost? Keeping the Jews alive.

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Why does god never feel anger? Because you need to exist to have feelings.

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The original Superman: Cruelty! Do you remember the original superman color movies? Like when he just deflected lasers bombs fire and bullets, he threw busses, spun around the world, was completely immune to anything but kryptonite and then... (pls dont hate) ...Fell of a horse and became a complete cripple?

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C'est l'histoire d'un français paumé qui se retrouve sur un site anglais.

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What did the hot rod say to the other hot rod Its hot in here

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got a boner and it raging for you

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Q: What does a blond do with a box of crayons? A: Paints a picture

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Why did the eighty year old man climb into a fridge? Because he wanted to.

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Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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