Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

Roses are red violets are blue why dont u go take a shower

What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

Guess what? What? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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