What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

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What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

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What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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Guess what? What? Nothing.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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