What do u call 4 black men in a car? A: carpooling

Dad: "When I was your age, I had to walk outside to catch the school bus. If it snowed heavily the night before, school was canceled."

I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

Hey, you know what'd be funny? A guy having a seizure saying, "Help I'm having a seizure!"

Why are the inside of a black guys hands white? Because he has worked really hard for his whole life.

What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

whats worse than snakes on a plane? terrorists

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

When Rocky teased Johnny by saying : 'Your momma is so fat , she looks like a hippo.' , He did not know Johnny's mother was suffering a terminal glandular problem combined with an agressive cancer..

Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boyscouts come back from camp.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen. You are going to go to jail.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

josh roberts goes into churches and forces them to listen and go by his religious opinion until they cry

Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

Roses are red Violets are blue Fvck this poem I'll just go play video games.

A zookeeper, a shoemaker, and a guy named Billy Jones walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we closed". So they left.

The horse's name was Friday

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...