A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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why did the chicken jump down the nest after laying eggs without flying? Because there was no ladder!

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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What's the similiarity between a black person and a bicycle? They both work best with chains.

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C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

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What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

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8============D PEN1S

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A man walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken I don't see anything funny about this at all. -Tag

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why did everyone in the swimming pool move away from the woman... because she had a miscarriage

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Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

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Roses are red violets are blue why dont u go take a shower

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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How come fat people drive cars? It takes to long to ride a bike to McDonalds

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Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

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How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops