How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

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- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? - How? -......

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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Hey Caleb.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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