Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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Whats worse than receiving a dollar? Receiving a penny.

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How did Jonny die We don't know he was never found

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A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

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Whats the difference between a cobra and the hulk? One is my penis and the other one is a cobra.

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I can't stick my dick in a watermelon.

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Justin Bieber

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only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

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guy walks into a bar a metal bar ouch

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made. This market has a very dynamic and fresh selection.

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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Do you know how I know that you're gay? You told me you are gay.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

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Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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