What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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knock knock your gay

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What did the devil say to the baby with four arms? I am evil.

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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