Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What is more tragic than a nice day wasted? Obesity.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

What's worse than a dead man?  2 dead men

What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT?!?!?!?! Oh, well then nevermind

One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

There are four black people near each other ? KITKAT !!! :D

a man walked out of church and said F***!

How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

What did the gay man order at Starbucks? Delicious, handcrafted beverages and great-tasting food. The secret to making life better.

What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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