Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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suck my dick.

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Women's rights

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

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I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

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Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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Unflushed Shit...

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops