Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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ps3

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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Homosexual babies? It's a choice

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops