Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

knock knock Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I used to be an adventurer like you, Until I lost both my arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A simple math problem. If 10% of men are gay, and 20% of men are chinese what is the probability that a man chosen at random spends his free time and meal time both on his knees?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was disowned by his family due to his drug addiction and had nowhere else to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

the real mccoy

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Monica" "Monica who?" "Monica Lebinsky, your neighhbor"

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why is that blond girl so dumb? Because she has fetal alcohol syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Busted? What the hell is going on?

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops