im dylan, i wank over teabaging people on cod

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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Bumsniffer

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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Your mom goes to college

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Hitler is my role model

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"Hello." "Hi."

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

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ruddell and dodds anal

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Women

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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