What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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suck my dick.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

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The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

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Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

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Chuck Norris died.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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do you know what's so funny? yup

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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