What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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http://www.ladsta.com

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whats 2+2? 69 LOL

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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