a guy takes viatamins thinking they would help him be healthy he choked and then he died from choking on a jolly rancher

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

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two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

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womens rights!

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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