What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

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Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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What's black and full of coke? a bottle of coca-cola

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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