When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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What do you call a black man driving a car? A driver.

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Your mom

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

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how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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potato farming

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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