Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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why was six afraid of seven? cause seven raped and pillaged eight's family.

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Your mama is so stupid she had to go back to school to get her GED in order to get a job that could properly support her family.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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Lamborghini mercy, yo chick she so thirsty Swerve, swerve

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

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Whats funny? Nick Sotelo

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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