Your computer will self - destruct in 5 seconds

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knock knock hows there sorry but i was to lazy to think of an ending

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Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

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So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to the Holocaust A: Because he was Jewish

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Roses are red Vilots are blue God made people pretty What the happend to you

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Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

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If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

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Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

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if quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? testicle

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

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I have read the Terms of Service.

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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