You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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Windows Vista

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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Why did the boy commit suicide? Because he was bullied at school and felt it was the right decision.

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

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Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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Write your own

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HTML

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops