How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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What's 5+7? Piccillo

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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A British man walks into a dental office.

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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