Why is Obama's name Obama? Obama

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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Why is Justin beaber so white? Because his mother and father both are.

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There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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So this is an anti-joke website, right?

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

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http://www.fotokristall.narod.ru/mov0001.swf

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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So dont touch it

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What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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-What's the difference between a frog? - it jumps higher.

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I used to be a schizophrenic but we're okay now

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snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

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Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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Hello I'm a fat kid

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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