The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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SPAMS!!!

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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boobs

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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