why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

Jacob Edwards has friends.

What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

ROSS G IS OBESE

How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

Do you know that car over there? No.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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