A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why was six afraid of seven? cause seven raped and pillaged eight's family.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three blondes walk into a community college.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops