Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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A man. That is all.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

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What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

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Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

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How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops