Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

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- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? - How? -......

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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obama is a good president

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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The glass is half an hour.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Whats white and cant fly an aeroplane? A fridge

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http://www.ladsta.com

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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