Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

I HATE EVERYTHING OMG PEOPLE SUCK BOYS SUCK IM TAKING MY RAGE OUT ON THE INTERNET FDJKNDLKXC

How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

You want to hear a joke? Democract

i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

What's white and very boney? A bone

Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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