What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

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A man farted. Another man walked away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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...and I'm a Mormon.

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

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Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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Pavel Novak

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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The WNBA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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