'THIS IS NOT A JOKE, YOU ARE THE 1000000TH VIEWER'...

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

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A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

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BUTTERFARTING

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

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Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

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What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

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How does a black guy call to another black guy in Africa? using a telephone

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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I love Ciara!

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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