Hair

Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

HARRY EFFING STYLES

drugs.

When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...