how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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Women Voting

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno, that's why I asked you.

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

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Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to the Holocaust A: Because he was Jewish

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A man walks into a bar.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah Witness.

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Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

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I JUST HAD SEEX! How blantant, eh?

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who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

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Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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69

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When I went on this website for the first time with a few friends, I was surprised to see a lot of these jokes were actually capable of making me laugh. But as I read on, eventually those funny, harmless jokes turned into offensive, ignorant, and very absurd statements. I realize that this 'anti joke' website was most likely created by a bunch of white people, because obviously white people are one of the most racest human beings, but all this is just too much! I guess I'm trying to say: if your going to make a joke, be respectful about it. America has gone through a lot of unforgiveable hardships and unfortunately these 'jokes' are making fun of all of that in a very offensive way.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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