How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why is Obama's name Obama? Obama

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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What is brown and smells? Poop

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

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What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

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"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

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The glass is half an hour.

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N e one else find the girl in the cellar from the new evil dead creepy ? Like shes some real demon being used by the movie industry to scare people? (serious qestion)

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Is you refrigerator running? That's odd you should call the cops about that one!

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What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

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Why did the old lady but her Jelly In her roller skates and dress them up like a doll? She has Dementia

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Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

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A black person in the NHL

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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