what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

thumb_up thumb_down -33

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

thumb_up thumb_down +56

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +42

boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

thumb_up thumb_down +38

An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops