*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

GONNA

Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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