Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

Mitt Romney for president.

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

Can I touch it?

The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

An asian walks out of math class

How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

balls in ya mouf

Poopsack Jones

What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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