Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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i hate you.

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You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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666 im christian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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