It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

womens rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Do you know that car over there? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +30

memes

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

thumb_up thumb_down +28

They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hey Patrick Yeah? I found something funnier then 24 Give it to me buddy 25

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +26

And then the devil said "Let there be Justin beiber"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops