Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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