What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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