What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Nothing, fishes don't speak, and due to their short memory he's probably forgotten about the event already, although he may have a pretty bad headache

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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a muslim walks in to a bar... there were no survivors

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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Dan O'Driscoll

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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Womens rights.

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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What do you find....... there's a..........

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Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

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Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

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I HATE EVERYTHING OMG PEOPLE SUCK BOYS SUCK IM TAKING MY RAGE OUT ON THE INTERNET FDJKNDLKXC

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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Canada's army

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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69

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Why did OJ SImpson never get convicted of murder? Because after going to court and proving his innocence a jury of twelve people found him not guilty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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