Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

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I ENJOY MASTURBATING

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Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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newt gingrich

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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