What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

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Why do you bury an Asian on the side of a hill? Because he's dead.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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what time is it rape time

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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I dislike old people.

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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Women's Golf

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what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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