when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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holly, a japanese boy and an american boy walked into a internet cafe. They then began to play runescape so they could train together and trade rare items.

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That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

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Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

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Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Robin, get in the car.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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