What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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