What's wrong with your hand!!!!!???? nothing.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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Why did the Nigger fuck shit? He was a shit fucking Nigger.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Your breath smells like onions.

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What's the differance between a pile of leaves and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a pile of leaves burning in my backyard.

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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Why is he called Donald Trump? Because he trumps a lot...

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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Violets are red Roses are blue I scrrewed that up Now can i screw you?

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

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A. Wanna Hear a funny joke? B. Yes! A. The WNBA.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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I remember my first "I remember my first-" joke

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lololololololololol

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Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did.

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It's kind of hard to die when you're in a freezer.

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What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

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if it's friday, it must be China

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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What do you find....... there's a..........

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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