whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

Im getting sick of holocaust jokes cant you Nazi Annefrankly they are dumb

The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

What do you call a female duck? A duck.

Why did the bunny eat his food

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...