i hate you.

A man walks into a bar. End of story.

How Long is a Chinese man.

What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

a banana

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

Avery has crabs.

what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

Fuck her

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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