Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

thumb_up thumb_down +8

women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

4023145287

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +4

q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Laura Pratz..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock whos there .. derp

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops