What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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what did the nazi say to the jew? hi

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hi

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

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Ben Colbert is gay

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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