What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

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Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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My sister has to take a dump

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops