I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't my car got to him first.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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look at there!! an entire dog!!

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How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

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Gadaffi

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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did you know Helen Keller had a dog? neither did she.

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Yo Mama is so fat cuz.. She has accumulated Obesity and needs your help to be rehabilitated due to the fact that she is at a high risk of heart attack, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and Etc. Try to motivate her to decrease food intake and increase physical activity. Thankyou

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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