So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +54

I tried to post an unfunny punch-line-less joke on anti-joke. It worked and I got tons of emotional affirmation from it and stuff, so thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

My sister has to take a dump

thumb_up thumb_down +48

You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

thumb_up thumb_down +46

whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

thumb_up thumb_down +40

An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Women Drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Mmmm, donuts

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops