Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

A women walks out of a kitchen.

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

W.N.B.A.

what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

lewis bedford

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

Black people are clen.

once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

why did the koala fall out of the tree it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree it was fit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree it was inside the fridge why did the 6th koala fall out of the tree it was punished for dropping a fridge why did the 7th koala fall out of the tree it committed suicide after framing the 6th koala

Knock knock Come in!

The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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