Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, yes.

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A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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oops

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a skank.

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

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a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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