Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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Icecream

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Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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Why did Willy kill the black man? Because not.

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PENIS

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What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

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Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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-What's a real anti joke? -This.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

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chuck norris

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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