What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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Dan O'Driscoll

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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Womens rights.

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

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Why did Joseph kick the pig in the face? He though it'd be funny.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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Justin Bieber

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What's grosser than gross? Grosser. What's grosser than that? Grossest.

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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